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It’s Not Always Easy to Stand by Your Own Truth

By Max Eames

max.jpgThe ‘Winter Blues, eh? Short days; long nights; Festive Season credit card balances hanging around for a lot longer than intended. Having said that… without realising it, have you decided to be unhappy? Are you hiding your true feelings? Are you trying to protect something? Are you attempting to control somebody? Are you aiming to manipulate a situation? Maybe you’re setting out to punish someone – or even to punish yourself. If any of these things is true for you, ask yourself if perhaps you’re knee-deep in the mindset of limitation.

Let’s see if you can discover some of the ways you might have been holding yourself back in a given situation – or why you have colluded in the habit of keeping things exactly as they are.

What follows is an activity that I like to share with my clients, but you can do it by yourself in front of a mirror, or with a trusted person. Whichever way you decide to do it, try to set aside some time when you won’t be interrupted or distracted. Either look straight at your own reflection, or face the person you have decided to pair up with, and complete both these declarations:

• ‘I have decided to pretend that _____.’

• ‘Actually, the truth of the matter is _____.’

Here are a couple of examples of what you might be saying: ‘I have decided to pretend that I need to stay in this job for the sake of the children. Actually, the truth of the matter is I feel too old to retrain and look for a new job.’

On the other hand it might be something that is entirely contained within your view of yourself: ‘I have decided to pretend that I enjoy living on a shoestring. Actually, the truth of the matter is I never thought I could amount to more than this.’

This exercise may go on for quite some time… and you may be surprised to hear what is coming out of your mouth. Just start the sentence off, and see what comes out. Time after time, much of what is buried deep in your subconscious tends to come to the surface. It also might be helpful to write down these revelations on paper.

When you have exhausted the process completely, it’s good to reflect on the fundamental theme or themes. What did you discover about yourself? How many of these discoveries relate to the mindsets of freedom and limitation? What did it feel like to discover your own truths? And finally, what can you decide to do about them, now that they have been given a voice?

When you don’t feel ‘free’ in a situation – whether in terms of your finances or in any other area of your life – ask yourself, ‘What am I really doing?’ The answers can surprise and liberate you.

Max Eames
Psychotherapist And Author Of The WEALTH MECHANIC,
Your 100% Proven 7-Step Financial Fix-It Formula