Letting Go

By Bonnie Starr Mandell-Rice

I often speak and write about the necessity of letting go of all of our judgments, opinions, beliefs and other thoughts (for our judgments, opinions and beliefs are simply kinds of thoughts) if we wish to be free and at peace. Our judgments, opinions, beliefs and the vast majority of our other thoughts are based on the past – something we have heard, have been taught or have experienced. Thus letting go those things is letting go of the past. When we let go of the past, we are free to live in the present moment, which is the only moment there is.

I have been letting go of the past and all the related thoughts for years, layer by layer, piece by piece. Even though much has been cleared, I knew there was still more to release. About ten days ago, the Universe kindly brought me some new tools to help with this process, and I began to work diligently with them. As I released limiting beliefs and lifetimes of trauma, I could feel myself growing lighter and expanding. Weights felt like they were being lifted from me, and long-standing pain issues began to resolve themselves. Oh, what joy it is to let go!

Now, I know from experience that you have to be careful for what you pray, since you may well get it in unexpected (and unwelcome) ways! (Ah, here is another limiting belief for me to let go. See how sneaky they are?) So, as I continued to pray to let go of the past and all my limiting beliefs, the Universe answered my prayers in a most unexpected way.

Four days ago, as I was working on my computer, a security alert popped up, and I dutifully followed the instructions to clear the issue. All might have been well except that I noticed a tab for “manage security.” I clicked on that and saw that it was recommended that I run a “cleaning” on my computer, which I promptly did. One of the first screens to pop up asked if I wanted to do a “regular” cleaning, which would permit recovery of the items (deleted cookies, temporary internet files, etc.) removed from my computer, or a “permanent” cleaning. As I could see no reason why I would want to recover the cleaned items (and, in retrospect, unconsciously in the spirit of “letting go” permanently) I clicked that option. I was then instructed to restart my computer, which I did – except that instead of restarting, my computer displayed a screen that said “NDLR is missing. Press any key to continue.” Pressing any key resulted only in the same message being displayed. I called my manufacturer’s technical support.

I was told by the technical support representative that all he could do would be to erase my hard drive and reinstall the operating system; everything that I did not have backed up would be lost. Had I backed my computer up? No (the reason for which being too long of another story to share here). Oh dear. For some reason I felt no panic, but decided not to have them do anything that night (Tuesday). The next morning (Wednesday), I still was feeling totally calm about the possibility of losing everything on my computer – all of my manuscripts, workshops, speeches, email addresses for my ezine, and legal documents, in addition to hundreds of other documents and photos, only some of which I had hard copies. In fact, I was beyond calm – I was feeling positively liberated! I also felt so grateful that the Universe had wiped so much out so gently, unlike the many who have lost so much more in floods and fires. Upon reflection, I had to laugh at how the Universe, with the press of one or two buttons on my computer, was deleting so much of my past. I felt like the hard drive of my brain was cleaned along with my computer’s hard drive.

Later that morning, I mentioned it to my younger daughter, who said: “Mom, take the computer to Best Buy and have them retrieve your documents first.” I replied in surprise: “They can do that?” So off I went to Best Buy, not entirely certain whether I would be more relieved if the Geek Squad there succeeded or if they did not. The Geek Squad representative investigated and said that he could see the documents and would be able to retrieve them by Friday (today). It was in that moment that I realized I had to have the computer back the next day (yesterday) because I am leaving town today for a week, during which time I am giving a power point presentation. Thankfully, it was retrieved – along with everything else on my computer.

Now I sit and write this article, the emailing of which by my self-imposed deadline is this morning (on the first day of the new month). Before doing so, I spent three or four hours reloading the operating system, the software and all of the documents and pictures that the Geek Squad salvaged for me. Nothing was really lost.

So what does all of this mean? Well, nothing has any meaning except the meaning we give to it. The meanings that I give to/glean from all of this (both my conscious letting go and the Universe-assisted letting go in my computer crash) are these:

· When we willing let go, we are freed.

· When we willing let go of what we love (including people), what is meant for us will return to us “cleaned” – free of the ropes that bind, limit and constrict both our authentic expression and our love.

· Nothing that matters is ever really lost, and the only thing that really matters is Love, which contains within it freedom, joy and peace.

· The present moment is the only moment. When we love the Divine in the present moment, in whatever is in that moment – sunshine or rain, our beloved or a computer that crashes, the loss of years of work or its retrieval – we are at peace and in joy.

COPYRIGHT: @ Bonnie Starr Mandell-Rice 2009. This article may be forwarded provided that the complete article and this copyright information are included. This article will be archived at www.transformativecoaching.net.