True Confessions of a Reformed White Knuckler

Notes to Myself by Stefanie Miller

These are the true confessions of a reformed white knuckler. I’ve had to pry my clammy little fingers off of the control I’m trying to maintain over issues that I just basically can do nothing about in the present moment.  I have to come clean and take responsibility for it. Though I have been on the spiritual path for many, many years I find it much easier to stay peaceful, trusting, and balanced when things are going smoothly. In recent times things have gotten challenging and I lost faith. I realized in the knick of time that I was allowing my fear, frustration, and lack of faith to frazzle me. I am very grateful that my health scare wound up being just a scare.  Seems like everything else dulls in comparison when our health is in question. I was jolted back into the present moment and became really aware of what I was creating. We sure are powerful creators!!

We really do need to surrender to this process. We are undergoing some difficult times and it is forcing us to take stock of what is really important and put things in their proper perspective. We are taking a major inventory of our lives. It is an excellent opportunity to review our priorities and choose what really matters and what is just plain baggage that is weighing us down. 

I have my mediation for my loan modification coming up soon. I have gone through this process for over a year now and I have replayed in my mind all the different scenarios, what I will say, what they will say and the outcome. I am worn out and exhausted from thinking about it so much. I have finally taken my white knuckles off of the situation, handed it over to the Universe and am focusing on other things until the day and time arrives for me to resolve it once and for all. Thinking about it is only taking up precious space in my brain and filling it with worry. I’ve got better things to do with my time! 

Occupying our time with things we enjoy shifts the focus from our issues. Now that the weather has changed I am thrilled to be able to take my peaceful evening moonlit strolls with my dogs. It gives me a chance to clear my mind, enjoy the gentle breeze and savor the quiet. Such divine pleasures life offers us!!

We have unconditional, unlimited support from the Universe. I have a strong connection with the angelic realm, especially Archangel Michael. I effortlessly receive guidance and intuition when I want or need it, however when I am overwrought it does not easily come. When we preoccupy ourselves with negative emotions we block our channels. Ironically the guidance we are looking for cannot arrive due to our harried state of being. 

Letting go of whatever it is we are desperately trying to hold onto is the first step in achieving a peaceful, balanced, happy disposition. All outcomes occur in divine timing, not necessarily our timing. We are not seeing the big picture! By prying our fingertips off of the obsessive thoughts, compulsive worrying, and fluctuating emotions we can return to a more harmonious state of be-ing. 

The ascension process we are undergoing is intense. No doubt about it. Ultimately, we are the creators of our own destiny. What we want to achieve in the future is really about what we are creating now! If I wait to be peaceful when (and I won’t say if) my loan modification comes through I will be a bent out of shape mess of a woman and I won’t be able to appreciate what I have anyway!  There will always be something lurking in the corner needing to be resolved. If we are always focused on the problems we are missing out on the opportunities to enjoy what we have. There is nothing outside of ourselves that can waiver our serenity. We are most certainly in control of that (if nothing else!!) 

At one time or another each one of us is faced with a challenge. It is not imposed upon us to weaken us, but in actuality to strengthen our core and show us how brave and fearless we actually are. We are warriors of the light because we bring light to the darkest of situations. We raise our torch and those who are in darkness follow the light of our way. We are the way-show-ers because we have the capacity to face whatever problems come our way and not sacrifice our unwavering spirit. 

In the new earth energy by white knuckling it, we are preventing ourselves from being in the divine flow from which all things manifest. The energy is shifting and changing so rapidly that we cannot get so caught up in outcomes. Circumstances and situations that seem concrete are so fluid that the only thing we can rely on is keeping our thoughts positive and knowing with certainty that what is meant for our highest and greatest good will prevail. 

So, I reformed my ways. I have truly let go and breathe through any fears or worries that may arise. I know, with certainty in my heart, that all is as it is meant to be. I have relinquished control and follow the flow of energy. 

Prayer 

Dear God, 

I release the control I thought I had over the current issues I am facing. I hand over to you both the problem and the solution. I ask that you pave the way for me. I choose peace over worry; happiness over sorrow; faith over fear.  I do not allow things outside of myself to waiver my serenity. I am a sovereign being that is alignment with my divine plan. I place my trust in You. I place my thoughts and emotions on my many blessings. Thank you for your unconditional support and guidance. 

And so it is. 

Amen. 

Copyright © Notes to Myself by Stefanie Miller of A Magical World - Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this article on the condition that the URL www.amagicalworld.com is included as the resource and that it is distributed freely and on a non-commercial basis. E-mail: stefanie@amagicalworld.com