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Tuesday
May272008

Learning to Love Yourself

By Bonnie Starr Mandell-Rice

“How,” a client recently asked, “do I begin to love myself?” The answer is simple: make the decision to do so. Love, as with happiness and all the other things we wish to feel and experience, begins with just that: a decision. Once we have made our decision and fully committed to it, life begins to show us the way.

When we decide to love ourselves, we stop telling ourselves lies about ourselves, and begin to tell ourselves the truth about ourselves. The Truth of each of us is that we are beloved children of the Divine Creator (whatever you may choose to call Him/Her/It), made in His/Her/Its likeness and image. All that the Divine has and is, is available to us when we choose It. So often, however, we choose, consciously or unconsciously, not to believe and accept this truth, because we are operating from and running old tapes that are filled with disempowering stories and lies. When we decide to love ourselves, we have to turn off the old tape player (the inner critic) and erase the old tapes. We have to “just say ‘no, thank you,’” when the inner critic starts to crank out the same old sorry stories about us.

Even knowing the Truth about myself, there still are truths about me that do not feel “divine.” I have made mistakes, spoken words I would unspeak, done things I would undo. Thus, it feels at times as if at least some of the old tapes speak truth. Yet one day not long ago when I was upset with myself over something and I was replaying a lengthy list of my failings and shortcomings at full volume, I heard a voice say: “No more lies.” To which I (believing my accounting of my misdeeds to be factual and, therefore, true) incredulously replied: “Say what?” The Voice responded: “No more lies. You are having a human experience. Congratulations on playing the human role. You are not the role. You are not the experience. Let it go and come back to the Truth of who you really are: my beloved Self.” This Voice invited me then and invites me still to love myself as It loves me. It yearns for me to love myself as It loves me: with neither condemnation nor condition, but with total acceptance. I hear It sigh: “Yes, that is the way. Love yourself that way, that you might love Me that way, for we are One. Being One, what you condemn in you, you condemn in Me. Being One, when you love yourself, you love Me.”

Having decided to love ourselves, we still may find (as I have done) ourselves shaming or angry at ourselves over something we did or said or failed to do or say. This pattern of anger and shaming ourselves is probably not new to us. It certainly was not to me. What may be new, having made the decision to love ourselves, is that we now (after a minute or ten minutes or a day – however long it takes) catch ourselves doing this. In that moment, we become the observer. When we identify with the observer rather than with the internal drama that we are experiencing, we are one-step removed from the anger or shame. From the position of observer arises a sense of detached compassion for the parts of us that are engaged in the drama. It is the detached compassionate witnessing by the observer that heals the anger and shame. It does so by shining the light of love and acceptance on us.

This love is not vain, boastful or bragging – those things about which most of us were warned as children. It is, like all true love, simply allowing, accepting and honoring. It allows us to be who we are, authentically, in each moment. It accepts us as we are, without judgment - neither praise nor condemnation. This may seem difficult, because most of us have been told or otherwise gotten the message that we have to think or behave in certain ways in order to be loved/lovable/accepted. We internalize those messages and impose the same requirements on ourselves before we are willing to accept and love ourselves. Unlike goods we purchase, however, we are not returnable. No matter how much else we lose in our lives, we always have ourselves. So we might as well accept ourselves, love ourselves and, as with all the gifts (and our lives and we ourselves are gifts) we receive, show some gratitude and appreciation!
The choice is up to each of us: to love or not to love ourselves. What is your decision?

COPYRIGHT: @ Bonnie Starr Mandell-Rice 2008. This article may be forwarded provided that the complete article and this copyright information are included. This article will be archived at. http://www.transformativecoaching.net/

Tuesday
May272008

It’s Not Always Easy to Stand by Your Own Truth

By Max Eames

max.jpgThe ‘Winter Blues, eh? Short days; long nights; Festive Season credit card balances hanging around for a lot longer than intended. Having said that… without realising it, have you decided to be unhappy? Are you hiding your true feelings? Are you trying to protect something? Are you attempting to control somebody? Are you aiming to manipulate a situation? Maybe you’re setting out to punish someone – or even to punish yourself. If any of these things is true for you, ask yourself if perhaps you’re knee-deep in the mindset of limitation.

Let’s see if you can discover some of the ways you might have been holding yourself back in a given situation – or why you have colluded in the habit of keeping things exactly as they are.

What follows is an activity that I like to share with my clients, but you can do it by yourself in front of a mirror, or with a trusted person. Whichever way you decide to do it, try to set aside some time when you won’t be interrupted or distracted. Either look straight at your own reflection, or face the person you have decided to pair up with, and complete both these declarations:

• ‘I have decided to pretend that _____.’

• ‘Actually, the truth of the matter is _____.’

Here are a couple of examples of what you might be saying: ‘I have decided to pretend that I need to stay in this job for the sake of the children. Actually, the truth of the matter is I feel too old to retrain and look for a new job.’

On the other hand it might be something that is entirely contained within your view of yourself: ‘I have decided to pretend that I enjoy living on a shoestring. Actually, the truth of the matter is I never thought I could amount to more than this.’

This exercise may go on for quite some time… and you may be surprised to hear what is coming out of your mouth. Just start the sentence off, and see what comes out. Time after time, much of what is buried deep in your subconscious tends to come to the surface. It also might be helpful to write down these revelations on paper.

When you have exhausted the process completely, it’s good to reflect on the fundamental theme or themes. What did you discover about yourself? How many of these discoveries relate to the mindsets of freedom and limitation? What did it feel like to discover your own truths? And finally, what can you decide to do about them, now that they have been given a voice?

When you don’t feel ‘free’ in a situation – whether in terms of your finances or in any other area of your life – ask yourself, ‘What am I really doing?’ The answers can surprise and liberate you.

Max Eames
Psychotherapist And Author Of The WEALTH MECHANIC,
Your 100% Proven 7-Step Financial Fix-It Formula
www.MaxEames.com

Tuesday
May272008

It's All Taken Care of Already!

.... "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!"

By Shely ~ Sha’h’ana

Hello Wondrous Ones

You may be feeling the effects of the big step up we have made recently – we are in a NEW place – we are all either about to, in the process of, or have just stepped through a door to freedom. We are downsizing, letting go, selling off, decluttering, simplifying. Moving on… we feel the need to travel light and in readiness…

You can do it hard or do it easy…. You already chose to do this….

Find the space in your heart where you know it’s meant to be easy; can be easy… is easy: where you know it’s all taken care of already. There is nothing for you to do but to be clear about what you really want & trust in it’s unfolding. Let go! Use the same techniques you use to always get a parking space.

With this new opening we are also “healing” as never before. Up to now we’ve been debugging, clearing, opening, receiving, mending, aligning, fixing, shifting, re-arranging, transmuting, deconstructing, reprogramming, reconstructing… we’ve called it “healing”, but it hasn’t been really. It’s been a peace meal & stop gap slow process of learning to let go & feel better… of understanding that we are where we are & nothing is “broken”. Nothing needed “healing” – it wasn’t “broken”.

Suddenly we find ourselves in a place where real healing is being offered. I know no other word for this that is now “happening” as we who work as “healers”, as transponders of energy, engage with those who come to us asking to move to the next level. This is wondrous stuff indeed!

It is the return of that which was lost; the mending of that which was broken; the repair of that which was rent; and more…

It is the gifting of all that was not, of all that was lacking; of all that was never known and unreceived… it is the bringing of true wholeness so that we can now fully move into this New Place of Freedom.

It is like an overlay of completion, a “restoration” into the new, a newness in the new that is created as an enhancement; overlaying & correcting the existential damage inherent in the experience of being human; the experience that was necessary in bringing us to here. All that is not yet done is complete.

This all feels amazing and very different from what has gone before. That which is truly needed is now given to enable each one of us to truly step clear into the place from where we can fully begin to learn to be in this new place, and to use the tools that we now have to create the world we want.

It doesn’t mean that you become perfectly clear overnight … it does mean that you are made ready for the new. It is still necessary for you to clear your physical, mental, emotional fields of what no longer serves you. This life experience is still you’re responsibility… more now than ever… use the tools that are offered you and find support around you.

Many of the symptoms of the shift are really tools we have not recognised & have overlooked and tried to ignore, to throw away, to overcome, to get passed. Your “inability to think”, your mindlessness, your forgetfulness are tools to teach you to move fully into the NOW moment. They are telling you what is important & what is not. They are teaching you where to find the place where “it’s all taken care of already; where it’s all good”. It teaches you to use your intuition, not your memory. To feel before you think. To use your feelings as a barometer for your wellbeing.

Your food cravings are feeding your changing body appropriately. Your Buddha belly and hot flashes are telling you that you are bringing in more energy than you can process & to let go more.

Your sleeplessness is calling for more awareness of who you are & how you feel & asking you to “tune in” to higher information that’s coming in. Your exhaustion is saying “STOP!” and connect in.

The skills you use to find a park or to locate an item you are looking for are the keys to manifestation … they are the tools you need to come into alignment what you want… think about HOW you need to FEEL & to BE to create what you want.

Love & joy in all things

Shely ~ Sha’h’ana

http://www.expandingrealities.net/

Tuesday
May272008

SURVIVING THE STORM

By Karen Bishop

- Why there is so much suffering now present on the planet;
- Why everything is in divine and perfect order even though it may seem the world has gone mad;
- Where we are in the transition;
- What we can do to ease any discomfort we may be experiencing;
- And examples of the transition process unfolding in a beautiful and perfect way.

Karen.gifWe are basically in the same space as we were during the last energy alert, even though there have been a few minor movements which placed us in an even more secure position in readiness for the new. On February 20th we experienced a lunar eclipse, which brought a very definite end to the clearing and purging stage. You might have had significant dreams during this time which indicated that the purging was complete, or perhaps experienced other indicators in your life. The Mercury retrograde phase is now over as well, so then the going back and purging phases are now complete.

Minor movements are occurring as we are still adjusting and aligning before the big tidal wave of new energy arrives. We are much more intact than we were even a week ago, as the “pressure” is subsiding and much more has taken a foothold now. This means that we are over the hump and the new energies should be arriving very soon indeed. This can manifest as a laziness or very relaxed state while we are waiting for the last finishing touches to take place.

Everything on the planet is literally being turned inside out, as each and every thing which embodies energy needs to find its new location or home. Several times in the past few weeks, and especially in the past few days, we have had interesting occurrences with our electronics here where we live. Our cell phones and our satellite television have been unable to locate their “homes.” For several days we had no phone service as our phones could not seem to locate their towers, and our television has been “lost” and unable to connect to the transmitting satellite.

And this is what is occurring on a massive global level as well. Each and every living thing is in the process of re-connecting to a higher vibration and to a higher version or reality of their places in the new reality.

This takes time as it is vitally important that everyone and everything has an opportunity to be on board when the grand surge of new energy arrives.

If you are one who is already aligned to the energies of the new, you will most likely feel as though you have hit a brick wall with an inability to move forward. You may feel jammed up with no room to breathe, or perhaps stuck and suffocating. There is indeed an energy wall present, and those of us who are most sensitive can feel it to a great degree. (I will list some possible ways for relief further on in this energy alert.)

We cannot continue to line up with the old energies of a lower dimension or a lower vibrating reality, thus, we are stuck or immovable for a time until the wall is removed. This, again, will occur when each and every living thing on the planet has had enough time to make adjustments and to line up with their own unique “new.”

I personally know individuals who are greatly benefiting from this aligning time we are being given. One individual had decided that after 8 years of a challenging marriage, it was finally time to move on. No question was in her mind…she had decided with complete certainty and was extremely happy and actually ecstatic about her new beginning…and a new beginning was indeed arriving for her.

As she announced her decision to her husband and began to make her plans, she had a reading, which also confirmed for her that her husband was now out of the picture and very far behind her. Then very suddenly, changes were made within her husband, as well as other changes within her family structure. And now they are moving ahead together; a total and complete surprise. And this is how it is for many of us.

Small but significant changes are indeed occurring even though we may be “waiting.”
There are many scenarios unfolding which are awesome to behold, as it is so very evident that changes need to be made within each and every one of us. And when they are made, magic occurs and we are then aligned with the new reality. And this is also why there is so much suffering occurring now on the planet. Suffering is occurring to support individuals into making a change. When we are extremely miserable, we are more inclined to be open to doing things differently, or perhaps inclined to let go of internal patterns that have continued to cause us misery for a very long time. And as most of us know, we are the ones who cause ourselves misery, and in this way, we are then empowered to make change, as changing ourselves is what creates the change on the outside as well, and then the ball is in our own court.

It can be difficult and very challenging to watch all this suffering around us. Our hearts go out to those involved. We deeply care. It can at times seem as though the world has gone mad. But we must also remember that each and every one of us is on our own unique journey, and our journeys are what create the needed changes.

This is why it is best that we do not meddle in the fall. If we were to interfere and “hold up” what needs to fall, we would go down with it, as well as serve to create a fall that lasts much longer than it needs to. Another’s journey is just that. At times we can only watch with compassion and concern. But know as well, that during this miraculous time, many miracles are occurring. Situations which seemed horrific are finding beautiful resolutions, and this is when the magic occurs…it is through the suffering. This is many times the doorway to the higher realms. (Yes, at certain times we need to meddle and support, but this is not what I am referring to here.)

Many of us are at different stages now in regard to being lined up for the new reality. This is why it is so vitally important that we are willing to wait for everyone to catch up. What is creating these unpleasant scenarios on the planet is the fact that we are in an energy lull right now. Basically, there is a diminished level of energy around us, or hitting the planet, or in other words, not much to connect to or to support us. This lack of energy then, is what is creating the scenarios of suffering.

This can manifest as exhaustion, no drive, apathy, crying jags, empty gas tanks and dead batteries, a feeling of no support, nothing manifesting very well, or even hopelessness. But this energy lull is serving the purpose of allowing each and every thing on the planet to more readily identify what it is that is really and truly important to us. When we seem to have much of nothing (which is an illusion), then we tend to be grateful for the most important things in our lives. And it is these things that we want to hold onto and pay more attention to.

Yes, this is a time when most of everything is being turned inside out as all is re-aligning. As mentioned in the past few energy alerts, it begins as the seeming underdog now rising to the place of recognized power. What were seeming underdogs in the past, or those that carried higher energies whose time had not yet arrived, are now being placed into positions of power. The latest manifestation of this is the situation with Kosovo. “Underdogs” are rising up.

This progresses then, as the “old” or household energies which contained the power in the past, now losing their foothold. The elections here in the US are manifestations of this scenario. But as the progression continues, those losing their foothold begin to suffer, and thus, they are then given the opportunity to change, adjust, be more of who they really and truly are, or their authentic and higher vibrating selves, and the scenario again shifts as more and more living things become aligned to the new reality. So in this way, much is rockin’ and rollin’ with new surprises at every moment!

With this movement into the higher realms being so massive, the challenges and confusion can be great. But know that at higher levels, everything is absolutely as it should be and everything is right on track. It can be tempting at times to desire an immediate change, or perhaps a change in our already decided upon direction, as we may feel that there has been some mistake.

Here where Phil and I live in the high desert canyon lands of the southern end of the Rocky Mountains in the US Southwest, we are in the middle of yet another snowstorm which dropped about 10 inches. For the past few days we were experiencing temperatures in the 50’s, the mud was dissipating, and our hiking experiences were getting back to a more enjoyable level. And then boom! As Phil says, “We have to start all over again…” It is then that we may be tempted to relocate to a different area of better “climate,” but an awesome climate is due to arrive very soon if we just hold on awhile longer.

And this is how some of us may be feeling now. Not yet, not yet, not yet, but soon…We can know that there is indeed an end to the transition, and indeed there is. And when enough of us are aligned to the new, there will arrive a massive shift in the energies. The wall will come down, we will all pass through into a higher vibrating reality, and we will easily forget the stage we currently find ourselves in.

I was speaking to my mother the other day, and we were commenting as we always do during times of climate discomfort, that we will hardly remember how cold it was when we are hot and sweaty this summer! And vice versa for those of you in the southern hemisphere. After hours of labor during a birth, we easily forget the pain when the new baby arrives, or we would probably never give birth again. The new arrival is always worth the discomfort, and this new arrival will be like no other. We need to hold on for awhile longer in order for this unity to be complete.

What can we do to ease the discomfort? Being that there is much less energy present now, we may feel empty and drained. A hug from someone can work wonders. If you do not have a someone to hug you or to hug back, our animal companions can work wonders. No animal companions or human huggers? Hugging a tree can really fill us up. No trees where you reside? Simply lie on the earth…it can be truly awesome and can serve to really connect us to the higher realms. Remember, we ascend through the earth herself. If the weather deters you from lying on the earth, place a tarp or some plastic down, dress very warmly, and enjoy your connection! Our little ones are also great connectors to the higher realms. I used to go to my granddaughter’s pre-school when she was three and play with all the kids, sliding down slides, digging in the sand, and running. It greatly helped.

In addition, there is a continual pattern when we are in the discomforts of transition which involves an every other day scenario. The universe does not want us to become totally lost and discouraged, so at times we seem to experience one good day, then a challenging one, then another good one. This is the see-saw effect of our ascension process at work.
In addition, the more removed from the mainstream you are, the less you will experience the discomforts of the fall. And knowing what is really going on, and that we are still in the transition, can also enable us to let go and relax, as we know with complete certainty that the new reality is right on the horizon. If we can detach as much as we can from what is occurring around us, connect to our creativity and to our loved ones in a loving way, or perhaps spend as much time as possible in nature, we can remain safe and sound during this time. And nature feels very good again, as the purging stage is over!

www.whatsuponplanetearth.com
Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times...

Until next time,
Karen

These energy alerts are offered several times per month by viewing them at What's Up On Planet Earth? If you enjoy reading this why not offer your financial support to Karen by making a donation. It makes it possible for her to continue offering information on her website free of charge.

Tuesday
May272008

Authentic Leadership

Authentic Leadership
8 keys to leading people successfully
(without selling your soul)

By Neil Crofts

neilcroftsinterviewimg.gifThis is the introduction from an e-book written and offered by Neil Crofts - coach, consultant and author. Neil was interviewed for our first edition last year, and has since moved to Mallorca where he offers Authentic Transformation retreats.

Authentic leadership is the highest and most powerful level of leadership yet
understood. The worlds authentic leaders achieve remarkable things in business and
society. They are passionate, focussed, committed articulate, controversial,
socially conscious and inspirational.

Authentic leadership is assumed rather than appointed, it is dynamic rather
than hierarchical. Authentic leadership requires a high level of self-knowledge and integrity. Authentic leaders empower people around them to achieve their best
through a coaching and facilitative style of leadership.

Authentic leadership creates a virtuous spiral of growth and development leading to confidence, self-belief and success for individuals, teams and organisations.
Authentic leadership goes beyond other levels of leadership by seeking
the win, win, win, win in all situations.

A win for the individual, a win for the team, a win for the organisation and a
win for society as a whole. Anyone who is willing to step up to their responsibility can be an authentic leader.

Are you ready to step up to your responsibility?
Are you ready to lead?

For more information or to contact please visit www.authentictransformation.com

Copyright © Neil Crofts 2008

From the notable but imperative "Be Yourself" to the surprising and wonderful "Love", Neil Crofts nails on the head what it means to be an authentic leader. You owe it to yourself -- and the people who work for and with you -- to read this short but authoritative e-book.
-- B. Joseph Pine II, co-author, Authenticity: What Consumers Really Want